Dear friends,

It's been a few hamburgers since I wrote. I guess the biggest piece of news is, as of two hours ago I will be back on email. I am writing this by hand in the library. (And now typing it on Corrlinks several days later). Apparently the BOP reviewed their policy and decided that certain inmates should no longer be denied access to this system. When you think about it, it makes sense for several reasons: they can keep much better track of what everyone writes (they typically don't open outgoing handwritten mail), and they can make some money by charging for this service.

I have to say, however, that I've gotten to rather enjoy the art of handwriting letters. It's much more personal. And except for the pencil & eraser there's minimal editing that goes into it. It's more stream of consciousness, more from the heart. And letters tend to cover much more ground than typical briefer email messages. I still intend to write some hand-written letters and hope some of you will find some time and enjoyment in doing that as well.

Life is otherwise rather boring and repetitive. That's not such a bad thing, especially here. It's much more calm and peaceful. Especially since my Native friend Scott moved in. It feels more now like I'm just doing my time, without all the stress of an uncomfortable living situation. I might add that along with boring comes a sense of simplicity which I rather enjoy. It goes with having less. It's very conducive for catching up on quieter, more reflective things that life has to offer such as reading - which I never did much on the outside, but has become a regular part of my daily routine. I read myself to sleep every night. With so fewer worldly distractions pulling me here and there it's much easier to spend time reflecting on my life, my innermost thoughts & feelings, my fears and longings. It's helping me put my life in perspective, and to prioritize what really matters.

I've given a lot of thought to friendship. Having been continually surprised by so many of you out there - by your expressions of caring and support. I'm struck by those who have taken the time to write, often multiple times, as well as those who have chosen to be silent, for whatever reasons. I try not to judge the latter, nor draw any conclusions. Everyone has to deal with things in their own way. And I respect that. And for some people, making the time to do what seems like a simple thing like writing, can feel like an overwhelming task. In one instance, an old friend pointed out that he wanted to really find a significant enough time to sit down and write rather than do something superficial. And he did, and it meant a lot to get that letter. I also realize that some people are still processing this whole thing, and maybe not sure what they want to say to me. I'd say to that - just say what you feel, even if it includes confusion and conflicting thoughts. It's natural to feel that way.

I would guess that may be one of the reasons that local visits have been sparse. It may be a scary thing for someone to go to a prison for the first time. I can assure you, it's not scary once you get here. We don't talk behind glass walls with hand phones.

I rather enjoy visits, so I encourage you to come. (you can now contact me directly about coming via this system - through Kim or Lauren).

It's been a relatively quiet few weeks for regular mail. So let me give a shout out to those who wrote:

·         Sosh & Lisa: what a nice surprise. Thanks for your letter.

·         Monique & Michel: I loved your card. Thanks for staying in touch so often.

·         Angela S: that was a very moving letter. You should have gotten my reply by now

·         Allen & Rudi: I enjoy all your letters and notes. (please note that these acknowledgments are not in real time)

·         Meg M: thanks for the update. I look forward to talking more on email.

·         Andrew S: thanks for thinking of me. I'll send a reply soon.

·         FG: you should have gotten my reply by now. Thanks and congratulations.

·         Matt & Lotte: I enjoyed the wonderful photo p-card (got it twice!)

·         Greg A: thanks for the article. Hopefully you got my letter.

·         Sarah M: thanks for the letter. I'll reply soon.

·         Diana & Kent: Welcome back to Austin. Thanks for the card.

·         Virginie: I loved* the cards from Paris. You're the best!

·         Chad S: Keep up the dancing. Nice to hear from you.

The nighttime skies here continue to be a source of joy & inspiration. I think I've seen more rainbows (and double rainbows) in the past few months than my entire life! Sunsets are earlier now but no less spectacular. Roger and I continue our tradition of sunset walks around the track (with stops for push-ups, pull-ups & dips). We also continue our weekly "Starbucks" meetings. He is truly a blessing here for me. We have the more in common than anyone else I've met. I appreciate how articulate he is, being a professional writer. Our conversations are never dull. My friendship with Mike has drifted apart just a bit. But my friendship with Brian (the ex-history prof) has gotten stronger. We also walk the track on occasion. I still go outside as much as possible. And with the weather being so glorious (80s and sunny) it's been a joy, ok, well much more pleasant, to be outside :) I still play a lot of cards (spades) as well as a bit more bocce with the cooler weather.  I enjoy playing cards & bocce a lot more with Brian than with Mike since he takes winning a lot less seriously, which suits me. Mike and Brian both live in a different unit - the one I'd much prefer to be in since there are a lot more educated & interesting guys there who I have much more in common with than in my unit. Switching units is pretty much unheard of, unfortunately, but who knows.  So friendships evolve and change, and lots of people come and go here. It's a perfect example that life is in a constant state of flux. Nothing ever stays the same no matter how much we resist, try to cling to it, or go into denial.

A bit of interesting news on the food front. Starting Oct. 1 the new fiscal year begins for food service here. That promises to bring food quality, after a downhill slide for the last few months of this year's budget. I was told they'll start using tofu in the alternative meals. However, no one here really has any idea how to cook with it. That's where I come in. I am on very good terms with the inmate who is closest to the food service director. So he brought me into the director's office and introduced me as someone who might be able to help them with the proper use of tofu. He immediately offered me the job as alternative food chef for dinner, but I had to turn it down. At least for now. For one thing, I would very much like to finish my Horticulture course which conflicts until the end of January. And also, I still rather like my tutoring job. I'll be here long enough to have ample opportunity to pursue another "career." I offered, and he agreed that I could be brought in as a consultant as needed. And he asked me to please provide him with feedback as to how they’re doing with this new product. We're very fortunate to have a FS director who actually cares about inmates. In fact, they will be starting a new Culinary Arts program here in January, so there might be plenty of opportunities for me in the future. Meanwhile I'd like to collect more ideas about the use of tofu for a larger scale preparation (approx 300).  For example, we have access to a deep fryer and I've never really experimented with that using tofu. If anyone has any experiences or ideas they would like to share that would be most welcome. I'll pass them on. I'm excited that we might see an improvement in the alternative menu. The featured entree has been peanut butter for 4 or 5 of the last 7 evening meals. How imaginative....Ugh!

And as long as I'm in an asking mode, here's another plea for any sheet music with guitar tablature, particularly of swinging blues (or bluesy swing).

On the home front, the young cellie who still remains seems to have undergone a rather miraculous transformation. Well, at first, after the older Mexican left, he must have freaked out. He went and had half of his head shaved. Yep, it looked just as ridiculous as it sounds. He literally looked like a clown. And the entire prison compound was buzzing about him. Fun to live with the prison freak :) One of the lieutenants finally made him fix it. And after that, he just seemed to come around. He started relating to us more amicably, and communicating in sentences instead of grunts. And now he genuinely seems happy living with the two of us. The tension between us has almost completely gone away. He's more like his old self, when I first moved in. Mine and Scott's mutual friend Billy (the funny one) comes and visits our cell all the time. So now, it's just been a fun place to come home to and to hang out in. In fact, we all stayed up the other night right up until lock down, something which never happened in our last configuration.  I'm hoping our situation stays harmonious and peaceful.

Some more BOP logic & irony:

A big deal is made out of keeping our cells clean and orderly. We're judged on this each week and given a place in line to go to chow based partly on our cleanliness (units go to chow in a particular order, 1 thru 4). But irony is that they provide us with practically nothing to facilitate this cleaning! Supplies are limited to a broom and a mop which you have to go hunt down, a bucket, and some disinfectant liquid. No sponges, cleansers, scrub brushes, rags or dishwashing liquid.  We have to beg, borrow and steal some Comet from the orderlies to clean our sinks and toilets properly. It's very frustrating.

Along those same lines we are not allowed to purchase markers, highlighters, or pencils (except for the ones we borrow from education). They sell one kind of crummy pen in the commissary. Yet they encourage us to write home regularly. No first aid supplies are available either. I guess we're not expected to cut ourselves. Or rather, they'd have us wait in line (the following morning) for sick call for an hour or two if we need medical help.

But inmates are very resourceful. We never throw things away, but find some kind of use for almost everything - empty boxes become locker shelves, empty coffee jars become food containers. An old shoe string and cardboard may be used to make an air vent diverter. Many inmates make a "stinger" - a simple electrical device that they plug into an outlet in the cell so you can boil water in a waste basket to "cook" food, or use it to deep fry (some of the inmates manage to steal cooking oil from the kitchen). They get the parts from Unicore or maintenance or one can easily purchase a stinger with "stamps." They're confiscated on a regular basis. (I've never used one).

Updated Sunday morning, 6:45 Oct. 3

I have trouble sleeping past 6 AM any more. Can you believe it? I really enjoy the morning. I have a good view of the sunrise right out the front door of my unit. And I will often walk the compound while the sun is rising. It's a very peaceful & special time of day.

I was so excited about receiving email again that I couldn't fall asleep the other night. I feel reconnected to the outside world again. Don't take life's little conveniences for granted! The interesting thing though is that before when I had a laptop & email, I never thought I could live without it. Well, I lived without it just fine. As I said, I enjoyed hand-writing letters. Although I wished I had more free time to answer more of them. Now I can readily reply to your emails. If you become a regular correspondant, I will add you directly to the Corrlinks list. Meanwhile please go through Lauren and she'll forward it to me.

I look forward to more frequent communication with y'all. Have a great week. And eat something tasty for me.

Bill